Thursday, November 3, 2016

Thursday's Thoughts: AKA Near and Dear to my Heart

This is something that is truly very near and dear to my heart. Please indulge me as I share these thoughts on Thursday Morning.

In 2001 My brother took his own life. We as the family left behind were devastated. How could this happen we asked? Didn't he know how much he was loved? As a child I called him Daddy, when he informed me at 3 years old that he was not my Daddy, I simply replied," Who are you then, Roy Rogers."?
 He was and is and always will be my hero/big brother/ ok not quite daddy.
Eddie, The hole you left in my heart will never heal or be filled in any way. I am forever changed.
I miss your beautiful smile, and your laugh and the way it felt when you hugged me. I miss knowing, you always had my back. I miss you.

Edwin Eugene Grice 1959- 2001

I was next touched by suicide when my dear sweet cousin Brad also took his own life.
Brad was a child I considered half mine. I had baby sat for him from the time he was two and until he graduated from high school, was always able to talk his parents into letting me "borrow " him to go to the big events, like the state fair, or festivals, or spring break at the Arnot Inn. 
Brad was given the gifts of humor and music. He had a voice like and angel and loved to make you laugh more than just about anything. I can remember staying up all night with him telling jokes and laughing until my belly ached and my cheeks were cramped with "permagrin" .
Brad told me once that whenever he felt sad, he just tried to think of something funny until he felt better.

J. Bradley Brunson 1977-2010

My third devastating brush with suicide came in 2011, with the very unexpected suicide of my nephew Michael.
Michael came into my life as an infant and enriched it in ways I am not sure he ever knew.
Like Brad, my husband and I " borrowed' Michael and his brother as often as humanly possible and it wasn't uncommon for his parents to have to come and take him back. Michael and his younger brother would often call and ask to come and live with us and in their dreams always said " when I get 18, I am coming to live with you." I never told him that by the time he was 18, he wouldn't want to but I always made sure he knew he had a place in my home.
Michael, I miss your smile, your hugs, your love and your laughter. Nobody else will ever sound like you. I miss you.

Michael A. Caldwell 1981-2011

My last and most recent blow from suicide came with the news of a dear friend. 
Eric D Duvall took his own life shortly after hurricane Matthew devastated the coast of South Carolina. Eric was actually a friend of my son
, who also became a dear friend of mine.
Eric's smile was contagious, his laughter mesmerizing and his quiet soft spirit, loving.
Eric loved helping people and he really loved animals. I remember watching him laugh until tears streamed down his face listening to stories of how my quaker parrot Houdini would escape from his cage, into the other bird cages and ask the other birds " what doin?" while stealing the treats from the other birds cages. Eric thought that was hysterical. I loved watching Eric laugh.
Eric, I will miss your laughter and your sweet loving spirit. I will miss you when the other friends are here and you are not. You will always be missed.

Eric D. Duvall 
I believe that there are times that we all struggle with depression . There are times we all need a friend, even if we do not quite know how to reach out and ask for the help we need.
If you ever feel the need of a friend, help is always available.
There are hotlines you can reach 24 hours a day

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
Call 1-800-273-8255
Available 24 hours everyday
 if you feel more comfortable texting 
there is a hotline for text as well.:
TEXT “GO” TO 741741 suicide prevention text line 24/7
If you happen to be a veteran like my brother there is a veterans crisis line
Veterans Crisis Line
Connects Veterans in crisis and their 
families and friends with qualified, 
caring VA responders through a 24/7 
confidential toll-free hotline: 1-800-273-8255, and Press 1.
These are all a very present help in times of trouble.
Please reach out , lean on friends because there are times that we all need someone to lean on.
thank you for listening.


Campbell Jane said...

I love you Linda. I miss them everyday too. I didn't know Eric I know he will be missed. All tragic losses and was life changing.
Thank you for this post and I pray that someone who needs help will pick up the phone and call.

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